2010 was a wonderful, exciting and totally unexpected year for me. My life went through many necessary and positive changes and it seemed as if everything was happening at warp speed. In October I began to plot my plan of attack for a more successful 2011. My daughter was turning 9 years old in January and I found myself reflecting on the joys of motherhood. It was a journey of laughing, learning and growth for us both. I was a very different person when I was pregnant with her and I accepted a whole lot of stress into my life at the time.
I often thought that it would be nice to have another child. Around Thanksgiving I told a friend it would have been nice to get pregnant this year so that I could avoid the (gasp) "35 and over pregnancy speeches." Supposedly in just the span of a year (34 to 35) a woman goes from being young and healthy to suddenly "higher risk." Instead of easy in and out prenatal visits we are offered a slew of optional testing... just in case. At 34 I felt happier and healthier than I did at 21 and didn't buy into the hype. My biggest hesitation was that I was a year into a wonderful relationship and prior to that I had ended a 7 year marriage... so some definite downtime was needed!
As a strong believer in the Law of Attraction I should have known that "wishful thinking" will get your wishes answered if you focus on it in a positive way. About a week and a half before Christmas I got a funny feeling that I was pregnant. My cycle wasn't due until after Christmas but I just had a strong sense that I was. I took two tests within the span of a week and both read negative but I still didn't believe it. My partner advised me to relax and just wait to see if I missed my cycle. He didn't think that it could be that easy to get pregnant as he had friends that tried for at least a year before they were successful. I smiled sweetly at him and reminded him that my instincts were never wrong. I did agree to do only one more test and if it was negative I would just wait to see what happened the following week.
On Christmas morning my daughter woke me up at the crack of dawn ready to rip into her gifts. Before going downstairs I decided to take the test, put it under the sink and forget about it for awhile. I wasn't going to run back upstairs in the 5 minutes it took to get the results. I'd just be easy and get to it when the morning festivities were over. About 45 minutes later I made my way back to the bathroom and retrieved the test. At first glance it looked like just one line and I had resolved to wait. Then as I was about to toss it in the trash I saw that there was a definite (albeit faint) second line on the test. Was this a second line??? YES!
Then reality hit and my excitement went to shear fear.... OMG, I'm really pregnant again. I mean, I knew I was or rather I felt I was but I'm not ready! I wrapped the test up and later in the day presented it to my partner. He could not believe it and was amazed, excited and grateful for the special gift. His support helped me get through the day and I reminded myself that I had 40 weeks to prepare mentally and emotionally for the new arrival. I was in such a good place in my life and had great support.
This was one of the best presents that I ever received and I can't wait to journal my experiences. For those who are expecting I pray this blog offers you with support, for those trying I pray it offers you support and for those who are tasked with loving children as their own I pray you find encouragement.
~ Love and light today and always...
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