Naptime - Not Just for Kids :-)

I love staying blissfully busy and find it hard to sit still for long periods of time.  From teaching yoga to running around with my daughter I love to keep moving.  But for the past few weeks it has been a struggle staying awake and I spend more time in deep conversation with the inside of my eyelids than I care to admit.

I'd start my day bright and early with a list of things in mind to accomplish and by mid morning I'd start losing steam and moving in slow motion.  And truth be told I began writing this entry yesterday and kept nodding off at the computer and gave up finally.  The more I tried to fight the feeling of fatigue the stronger it got.  In my state of tired delusion all sorts of thoughts ran through my head.  Was I just being lazy?  Was this all in my mind?   Was I using my pregnancy as an excuse to take a break from my responsibilities?  My emotions started to swirl and left me, as usual, in a fit of tears. 

After a nice long nap I woke up feeling refreshed and emotionally balanced.  I reminded myself that for the next several months my body was not mine alone, it was being shared with a beautiful life that needed me to be as healthy and happy as I could, despite the physical changes along the way.  Instead of seeing my need for naps as a negative thing I now saw it as a gift, an opportunity to recharge the battery.

Pregnant or not, we should all listen to the messages that our bodies send.   As much as you work, make sure you are staying in balance by resting.

The Morning (Afternoon & Night) Sickness Blues

Who coined the term morning sickness anyway???  For those of us that make several trips to the bathroom a day (or have the displeasure of dry heaving on the side of the road) know otherwise.  The tummy topsy turvies can hit at any time of day and the slightest thing can trigger an episode.  I've been "praying to the porcelain god" for about 4 weeks now and boy am I over this emotion :-)

I had horrible morning sickness with my daughter but a lot of it was due to the stress I was experiencing in my life at the time.  I also had stomach issues prior to getting pregnant.  My episodes were very predictable.  The alarm clock would go off at 6 am; I'd fight with the snooze button until 6:30 am and then five minutes later at 6:35 am all hell would break loose.  I'd spend no less than 15 minutes trying to seek some relief while the radio played in the background.  The same songs would be playing every morning while I was getting sick (each day I made a mental note to contact the radio station about this foolishness).  Now because of this I have a list of "morning sickness songs" that I can't listen to without getting ill to this day pregnant or not!

This time around the radio is off and the only sounds are of me crying into the toilet.  Luckily I'm close to the home front when disaster hits but have had several occasions where I had to use a plastic bag in public or deface a sidewalk or two.  As people looked at me with a mixture of curiosity, concern and sometimes disgust (did she start happy hour too early???) I always managed to protest "I am pregnant, not contagious or hung-over!"  All eyes turned sympathetic and I would get a remedy suggestion or two on how to cope.

On the brighter side, things are getting progressively better and I can at least hold down some food and water.  I've also been told that morning sickness is a good sign that all is well and on track with the baby.  I had my first doctor's visit last week and the doctor said that I was severely dehydrated and needed to rest (easier said than done!) for a week or so.  She blessed me with a homeopathic remedy before I left and suggested that I pickup some pulsatilla from the local health food store to help with the nausea.  Though it takes a little time to work it has definitely helped.

Regardless of the changes and challenges I'm truly enjoying this experience!  Motherhood is a blessing and all these things prepare us for the road ahead :-) 

A Perfect Ending

2010 was a wonderful, exciting and totally unexpected year for me.  My life went through many necessary and positive changes and it seemed as if everything was happening at warp speed.  In October I began to plot my plan of attack for a more successful 2011.  My daughter was turning 9 years old in January and I found myself reflecting on the joys of motherhood.  It was a journey of laughing, learning and growth for us both.  I was a very different person when I was pregnant with her and I accepted a whole lot of stress into my life at the time.

I often thought that it would be nice to have another child.  Around Thanksgiving I told a friend it would have been nice to get pregnant this year so that I could avoid the (gasp) "35 and over pregnancy speeches."  Supposedly in just the span of a year (34 to 35) a woman goes from being young and healthy to suddenly "higher risk."   Instead of easy in and out prenatal visits we are offered a slew of optional testing... just in case.  At 34 I felt happier and healthier than I did at 21 and didn't buy into the hype.  My biggest hesitation was that I was a year into a wonderful relationship and prior to that I had ended a 7 year marriage... so some definite downtime was needed! 

As a strong believer in the Law of Attraction I should have known that "wishful thinking" will get your wishes answered if you focus on it in a positive way.  About a week and a half before Christmas I got a funny feeling that I was pregnant.  My cycle wasn't due until after Christmas but I just had a strong sense that I was.  I took two tests within the span of a week and both read negative but I still didn't believe it.  My partner advised me to relax and just wait to see if I missed my cycle.  He didn't think that it could be that easy to get pregnant as he had friends that tried for at least a year before they were successful.  I smiled sweetly at him and reminded him that my instincts were never wrong.  I did agree to do only one more test and if it was negative I would just wait to see what happened the following week.

On Christmas morning my daughter woke me up at the crack of dawn ready to rip into her gifts.  Before going downstairs I decided to take the test, put it under the sink and forget about it for awhile.  I wasn't going to run back upstairs in the 5 minutes it took to get the results.  I'd just be easy and get to it when the morning festivities were over.  About 45 minutes later I made my way back to the bathroom and retrieved the test.  At first glance it looked like just one line and I had resolved to wait.  Then as I was about to toss it in the trash I saw that there was a definite (albeit faint) second line on the test.  Was this a second line???  YES!

Then reality hit and my excitement went to shear fear.... OMG, I'm really pregnant again.  I mean, I knew I was or rather I felt I was but I'm not ready!  I wrapped the test up and later in the day presented it to my partner.  He could not believe it and was amazed, excited and grateful for the special gift.  His support helped me get through the day and I reminded myself that I had 40 weeks to prepare mentally and emotionally for the new arrival.  I was in such a good place in my life and had great support. 

This was one of the best presents that I ever received and I can't wait to journal my experiences.  For those who are expecting I pray this blog offers you with support, for those trying I pray it offers you support and for those who are tasked with loving children as their own I pray you find encouragement.

~ Love and light today and always...